Happy Happy!!

Whatever happens this year will happen, its how I deal with it that matters. Bring it on, 2013!

December

December came quickly and is going out with a fury. And, I'm not ungrateful for the speed in which it's passing. To be honest, 2012 hasn't been all sunshine and flowers for us- along with our victories have come sadness and heartbreak. At the beginning of this month, Christian was in full finals swing- which means I was counting down the minutes days until normal life would resume. Homeboy wrapped up his semester with excellent grades, glowing feedback, and a nice long nap. Fast forward a few days, and I (solo) travelled to CA to be at my cousins wedding. In the midst of all of that, my Grandma passed away, which came with a variety of emotion. Just in time to process those over the holidays.

These kids rock. Lets time travel again for a few days- back to UT for a mere 48 hours, and then hopped on a plane again- this time with some devilishly handsome extra cargo. We were able to be in CA for the holiday, giving me ample opportunity to spoil a certain niece and naphew as rotten as I possibly could. And to make sure they have enough skills to recite "Aunt Lisa is my favorite" at any moment in time.

Can we get a close up on this one?

Ah, much better. Little princess has both of us wrapped real tight around her perfect little finger.

This would be "quality time" in action. No emphasis needed on action.

And this was what it was all about. A Christmas miracle- a good picture of everyone. Although, I think full bellies had something to do with that.

We are about to get personal here. I was debating making this a private blog, for journaling purposes, but figured since I haven't posted in years (SERIOUSLY?!) it's as good as private anyways. So for any of the few lingerers around these parts, feast yourself upon my deepest thoughts. Ever feel like life happens so fast? It seems like the last 5 years of my life were spent wishing the time would go faster, waiting for the next thing that would take my life to the next level- waiting for my time to finally "make it". I would watch everyone else living their dreams, and wishing and hoping and waiting for it to be MY TURN ALREADY! Then, all of a sudden, I look around, and things are racing by. Only one more year of school-not only is my nephew a studly almost 5(!!) year old, sweetest Amy is 2 and a half(!!)-starting a family may not be such a distant dream forever- people I love are leaving this earth at an alarming rate, and I am being changed and molded because of it. I look around me, and all I want to do is stop for a moment, focus only on the water bottle in front of me, and pretend like the earth isn't really moving at such an alarming rate. I need to remember these times- these past 5 years- for the truth and honesty that they were. The trials, the blessings, the love, the heartbreak. It has all shaped me into an entirely different person than who I was before. The woman I am now loves deeply- deeper than most. However, with that ability to love comes real, true, honest heartbreak. I now know what it means to loose- and to have lost someone who made you into who you are, and whose absense will be felt for the rest of my time here on earth. And I have learned to be okay with that emptyness. In fact- it's a battle wound. Not everybody has that ability to feel so deeply- to be loved and to love so well. I have learned that I am a woman who cares abouth others- too much sometimes. I let down the walls (not even walls- its pretty much always open) of my heart quickly- too quickly. I have been hurt often because of that. However, with that hurt comes real relationships. Rerlationships that enrich my life, and enrich the lives of those around me. I often try to put up walls around me in the aftermath of the pain. I seem to punish muself for allowing people in who are not able to care for me in return in the way in which I deserve. I make a decision to STOP caring. To stop investing my heart into these relationships. But that isn't who I am, and that isn't who God made me to be. I must be true to muself, and my intended purpose. So, I will love, I will care, and I will live each of my days with my full heart, and awareness of the woman I am, and the woman I will become.

No pictures today, just this thought..

Why does it feel like you need a parent so much more when you're done being parented?

Is it just one of life's cruel little mysteries?

It's Been Awhile...

In my defense, summer has FINALLY hit the 801. Therefore, I have been spending way more time outdoors than indoors, so my blogging productivity have decreased. Love me anyways?

In an effort to play catch-up, here is some proof that we have the MOST stellar nephew and niece in the world. Try as you may, you won't find better kids anywhere. I fell even deeper in love with them while we were out there, to the point where my heart physically aches for them as I type this. Yep, I've always been this much of a drama queen. I hear it's one of my better qualities.



These guys went camping. I think this may have been the highlight of Christian's trip, if not his entire life. He lives for things like father-son camp outs. Especially with a kid as awesome as Michael. The played, got dirty, ate junk food, stayed up all night, and arose with the sun. Meanwhile, Hannah, Amy and I went shopping, out to dinner, and painted our toenails while watching Modern Family. Success? I'd say so.



Seriously?? This kid is the bomb.com. He has the most spunky little 'tude, and is the best big brother Amy could ever ask for. And, smart as a whip, I tell you. Just ask the Angry Birds and Monkey games on your cell phone. Plus? He's pretty easy on the eyes.

This one?



She WILL melt your heart. You don't stand a chance. She is the prettiest little girl, with the most loving, sweet smile. And the best is when you get her up from a nap. It almost seems like her face will break, she smiles so big. And she gives you the biggest hug, as though she is saying "THANK YOU! You saved me! I am so happy it's you! I was hoping you would be the one to come and get me! You're my very favorite Auntie, ever. And the prettiest. I want to be just like you." Okay, maybe my imagination went off a bit with that last part. Minor details. Amy sleeps like a dream, is a crawling machine, eats like a rockstar, and we didn't hear her cry 1 one time while we were out there. Includes when she was tired, hungry, whatever.



I like to think she loves me, too.



Seriously? I wish there was a word more meaningful that Love. Because that's how I feel about them. I'm a little scared that when I have my own children, I won't love them like I love these 2 rug rats.



And these 2 became the best of friends. Christian was in heaven playing with Michael. He still cannot get over how much FUN he is!



They both had smiles this big. Christan brought out his slackline so that Michael could play, and play he did! I think every other phrase out of Michael's mouth was "Oh, Michael's turn!" or "My Turn!" All of my favorite people, playing outside, laughing our heads off, on a perfect summer night? I had to pinch myself, it was just so perfect.



The kid is all BOY!

Sadly, there aren't as many pictures with Amy. Reason being is that I was too busy cuddling her, kissing her, and smooching her little cheeks (yep, all 4 of them!) to worry about pictures. I had to soak up all of the precious Amy time I could get. Something about that girlie girl just makes you feel like you could hang the moon.

There you have it. The photo documentation of our favorite people. The trip was a dream. More NYC pics to come. I'll be honest, Eric, Hannah, Michael, and Amy were the highlight, though.

He's cute.



This is us on our Friday night date. The husb. asked me out for a picnic... sadly Utah-friggin-weather had other plans for us. So we went to eat at the most lovely of all dive diners, followed by a movie. Water for Elephants. My expert opinion? Don't go if you want a feel good movie. 2 hours of depressing, with the last 5 minutes being uplifting. So you leave happy, BUT you just spent 2 hours being depressed! The lovely gem above was post movie. Also post eyebrow wax, so don't judge.

My east-coast-happyplace trip is on the horizon. Meaning, that if I check the 10 day forecast, there is a better chance that the prediction is correct. Neat, huh!! I think about going out there alldaylong. Michael and His Goober-face, Amy and Her Cute-ness. Yep, that is their official titles. Don't be jealous. Only Aunt Lisa can give such honors.

I am oddly thrilled to be gone for so long, and come back to my google reader all filled up with blog posts to read. I usually check compulsively, never knowing which blog will be telling me what the summer-must-haves are. I have GOT to be up-to-date on these things. My eternal salvation is on the line. Heavenly Father won't be letting any ill dressed girlies in.

Dear Fococcia Bread,

You ruined my resolution to eat healthy today. I was really going to do it today, too. I Went to the store, bought healthy things, did so great this AM. I was all grapes and hydration. I brought steamed broccoli for lunch. Enter the office catering. Darn you, free fococcia bread. Darn you to heck. (I know, I'm such a rebel with my cursing and such).

In other news, the countdown to My Happiest Place On Earth is growing smaller. One week from tomorrow!!! EEEeeEEE! And, all you avid readers, (Hi Mom!) there is going to be an Alexander McQueen exhibit at the MET while we are there (I just had to change I to we. Still adjusting to married life, I see). Oh, and there is the ever expanding list of things I HAVE to buy while I'm (WE) out there. Maybe I'm taking an extra empty suitcase out there with me, for the sole purpose of bringing it back full. :) Expect full facebook play by plays.

I feel like this entire blog post is a waste, due to my lack of pictures. In my defense, the camera on my phone is lame. Apparently I don't have enough memory for pictures on my phone. Whatev. Is anyone still reading this? Oh, comments... please be there when I check back for you. Really, this is my only highlight until next week. Christian has been studying all week. I saw him yesterday for 45 min... that included driving time. Oh, finals. We have a love/hate relationship.