Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Life as I Know it

Hello, Blog. My name is Lisa, and once upon a time, we were good friends. Please don't feel neglected. I have been at a loss for words. Please be my friend as I struggle back to life via this keyboard.

Please keep in mind that this blog post will be deeply personal, and extremely selfish. But, it IS my blog. So I will be unapologeticly selfish.

I have been under the impression recently that I should have it all figured out. I am 23 years old, have been living on my own for 4+ years, married, financially independent. I should know what I am doing, where I am headed, and when I will get there. I should be secure enough with myself that when people wrong me, I am fine. Things should roll off my back. When I am treated unfairly, I should remember that I have an incredible mom, dad, brothers. A husband who will do ANYTHING if it means my happiness. Extended family who will, and who have, dropped everything to give me a call. Because those are the things that matter. My nephew who is the most studly of all 2 year olds. HE matters. Those other people? Not so much. I should know that. I shouldn't worry about other things.

But I do.

And you know what I am learning? That it's okay. It's okay to occasionally handle situations wrong. It's okay to not know what to say all the time, and to take a few minutes to process information. And it's okay to be offended when people who should care about you, don't care. And, for me, above all else, it's okay to cry. It's okay to not have it all together. You know why? Because I have an incredible mom, dad and brothers. A husband who will do ANYTHING if it means my happiness. Extended family who will, and who have, dropped everything to give me a call. And for that studly little nephew, and his equally precious little sister who is having her last few moments with Heavenly Father before honoring us with her presence. I am so blessed. I am on this journey of self discovery, of learning who I am, what I like to do (went to yoga tonight... and LOVED it!! Who would have thought??), what makes me happy. And I am learning to act on these things. I am learning to be true to myself.

Am I ahead of the game, am I trailing behind, while others are already soaring through the finish line? Does it matter? Not to me. I am on my own journey, my own path. And as far as I am concerned, I am right on schedule.


Barb said...

First of all...I am shocked and so happy you posted! Now I can do a little stalking back...and Second. Who do I need to kick in the shins? Cause I will! Next week - yoga together, we'll carpool.

And you're right - those other people don't matter. Just you on your personal journey and your relationship with the Savior. But I will kick them in the shins if I need too...unless it's me. Then I don't think that's physically possible. =)

Val said...

If there is one thing I have learned about life it is that I am much happier when I don't compare myself to other people.

Of course I forget what I have learned all the time and I constantly need to be reminded. Thanks for your post. It was a good reminder.

Allie said...

Lisa! Just have to say I love you!! That's all. I was blog stalking and just remembered what a special friend you are to me. Love you Lisa!

Chelsea said...

LOVED this post!!! You are a great blog writer...Hope you are able to do more! :)